A mis mellizas...quiero poder transmitirles tantas cosas....
Quiero que puedan vivir con la fuerza de un águila.
que nunca sientan que el miedo las paraliza.
que la vida se puede enfrentar por mas que las rodillas nos tiemblen.
que miren hacia adelante sin preocuparse por las cosas que puedan interponerse en el camino.
que luchen por un mundo mejor, viviendo cada día con las manos abiertas listas para recibir las bendiciones del cielo.
que puedan limpiarse el polvo de las caídas como si fuera una simple evidencia de la lucha.
que nunca tengan miedo de ser ellas mismas...que acepten sus errores y trabajen cada día por mejorar su propio ser para iluminar el mundo y controlar su destino.
Que no dejen que el dolor las detenga de intentar algo nuevo, y que aprendan que los golpes son incentivos para el crecimiento y no para la resignación.
Que nunca pierdan la esperanza de un mundo mejor.
que se amen a si mismas como Dios las ama....
que no dejen que los demás las definan....
que no se dejen definir por sus propios malos pensamientos.
Que aprendan que la vida es mas bella cuando el objetivo es amar a los demás y no buscar ser amado.
Que lo que mas cuesta es vencer el miedo a la vulnerabilidad para lograr los encuentros...pero es lo que trae mejor recompensa.
Que la mente es mas poderosa que la realidad... y con solo cambiar la perspectiva uno puedo construir una vida mejor.
que no pierdan la sensibilidad...que es la clave para poder interpretar la vida.
que nunca tengan miedo de mostrarse tal cual son, porque la imperfección hace la belleza.
Ojalá algún día pueda ser la mama que se merecen.
Wednesday, November 8, 2017
Wednesday, September 27, 2017
Dos.
Tejiéndose por dentro.
Tu alma y la mia combinadas en perfección.
eterna compañía,
los miedos se transforman en propósitos,
si algún día no llegaría haber nada....
siempre habría todo.
todo lo tuyo y lo mío... todo lo nuestro.
la lucha, el futuro, nuevos horizontes.
puñado de esperanza mia.
ya no importa lo que pase.
alma mia... respira en paz.
nunca mas estarás sola.
Tejiéndose por dentro.
Tu alma y la mia combinadas en perfección.
eterna compañía,
los miedos se transforman en propósitos,
si algún día no llegaría haber nada....
siempre habría todo.
todo lo tuyo y lo mío... todo lo nuestro.
la lucha, el futuro, nuevos horizontes.
puñado de esperanza mia.
ya no importa lo que pase.
alma mia... respira en paz.
nunca mas estarás sola.
Wednesday, May 10, 2017
10 Things I Know To Be True #29
1. The hardest moments of your life will soon be summarized in one phrase. It'll be a phrase that will encapsulate so much pain...so many stories and details that have changed you as a person. But when people ask... it all comes down to one simple phrase that might mean nothing to them. So simple... yet so profoundly meaningful in your life.... "I finished my Master's".... "I got a divorce".... "I started therapy"... "We decided to do it"... "We did a treatment"... "We lost two babies".... "I moved".... "We broke up".... so many phrases that people say everyday that encapsulate so much stress...pain, growth.
2. Growth doesn't just happen. It's not an accident or a result of many experiences or years of life. Some people decide to grow and others don't even think about it. The pain that we go through can only be useful if we voluntarily decide to use it for growth. I find it obvious to welcome life's hard experiences as opportunities of growth...but not everyone sees them that way.
3. I can't expect people to actually learn from their own mistakes. As we go through life we will encounter difficulties and problems... some of them will be due to the people we have around...our job...or mere chance. But others... we create ourselves by making choices without thinking on the outcome (or maybe not caring of it). If we don't actually exercise our mind to revise our bad choices we won't learn how to avoid making them again. Sadly, many people don't do this... and I have learned that if I expect them to I will just be constantly frustrated.
4. The root of most relationship problems is the inability to accept one's imperfections. Yes... the most important aspect of any relationship is the relationship that the individuals have with themselves. If I can't accept my imperfections and understand that is inevitable for me to fail at times, I won't be able to understand and forgive the people around me. The concept of "mercy" starts with ourselves. We can't fully live our lives without accepting God's mercy, and we can't love others and grant them mercy if we aren't able to do that for our own selves. The process of forgiveness to others starts with the process of forgiving our own shortcomings and accepting ourselves fully. I can't give something I don't have so I need to cut myself some slack to be able to understand that other people are struggling the same way that I am and they are trying to do the best they can.
5. Most of the unconditional love that exists in this world is the love from children to their parents not the other way around. This one is hard to say and even grasp, but if I learned something this year is that adults are selfish sometimes and even though as parents we will like to think that everything we do is for our children's sake, sometimes that's not the case. We need to exercise a constant attitude of evaluating our motives and desires when we treat our children, specially when we discipline them. But the children....they will love no matter what. Their love and need of acceptance from their parents is never ending and it will never change. Even the kids who don't have parents present still yearn to get their approval or their love...even when they reach adulthood. Sadly...there are some parents that don't love their children unconditionally... some parents are selfish and don't really measure the consequences of their actions. I know it sounds horrible, but I guess sometimes we learn bits of the reality that aren't pleasant.
6. Transparency is the only way. Being genuine and transparent most times will hurt you.... but I will stand by this forever (I think). Being honest and vulnerable... talking openly about our feelings of pain, hurt, loneliness, confusion and mistakes are key to having healthy relationships. In my book that is the only way to go.
7. We all need mercy. Most of us don't even understand it.... Mercy: when you get what you need rather than what you deserve. We all need something we don't deserve. God gives us His mercy every day and we don't even realize it until we have failed in a major scale (or what we consider to be a major fail...) but the truth is that we get it every day...with the little things we do...the flaws and imperfections. God gives it to us and also expects us to be humble enough to understand that we should do the same. To give mercy to others because they are just as fragile as we are. We don't deserve forgiveness and salvation but we still have it through Jesus...therefore, giving mercy to everyone around shouldn't be hard to do considering that we are just as imperfect and undeserving.
8. Humans have the ability to have opposite qualities simultaneously. I can be a victim while simultaneously be an aggressor. I can be bullied while bullying my bullies. I can make a decision out of love but have selfish motives behind it... or I can make selfish decisions that actually come from a place of love. I can love and really dislike someone and I can feel like the most unimportant and horrible person yet love myself enough to make good decisions in the midst of internal chaos. Just like the East becomes the West at some point we can be extremely broken and perfectly beautiful at the same time. Human beings have that ability, our relationships have that quality. It can be a beautiful disaster.. our own beautiful disaster...and people can love it and hate it. Can understand it or criticize it and they could all be right at the same time.
9. There are many layers to reality. Each layer is a different perspective.... a different person with a different story looking at it from their own point of view. There are motivations, situations, contexts, beliefs, information, feelings and personalities that all combined form a reality. Someones's reality... that is shared with other people who live under their own particular stories with their own lenses on. Reality is created and shared and no-one can truly know if their own reality is the most real one of all.... So every time you want to pass a judgment remember that you are limited to your own understanding and just like they are limited to theirs...and without connection and true communication we are just people living our own lives standing together but without truly being together.
10. We can't stop change. Change is bigger than us... more powerful. Things change all the time...we change all the time, weather we like it or not. We can try to fight it... but the more we try the more insane we get because we are meant to change constantly. Everything changes all the time so we truly have one option: to accept it/embrace it/get on board with it... because if we don't we will die trying to control it. The real superheroes aren't the ones that fight evil with forces or magical superpowers .... the real superheroes are the ones that use whatever they have in front of them as a tool to achieve their goals. The real superheroes are the ones that understand that life will through you really bad things and the only way of surviving is waiting for them with arms wide open and using them for good... for growth...for experience and for sources of wisdom. Change will come... we will get stressed...we will think we have lost it all...but we can also choose to rebuild ourselves...we can choose to embrace the change and we can choose to rise above. We can choose to grow and we can wear our experiences like badges of wisdom hanging in our chest. We can decide what to do with the change and we can be reinvented by it.
Tuesday, April 4, 2017
your disapproval cuts through
"Floral Dresses"
(feat. The Staves)
Escribiendo solo para poder escuchar el sonido de las teclas en el teclado...
(feat. The Staves)
I grew up in one hell of a family
You'd envy us alright
All three girls are looking for trouble
But we came home every night
I don't wanna wear your floral dresses
And my lips won't be coloured
I don't want your diamond necklace
Your disapproval cuts through
I see the way you look at me
You don't have to tell me
I'm growing older each passing day
But my heart still remains
I bet you thought I'd grow out of these habits
Forgive me for missing
I don't wanna wear your floral dresses
And my lips won't be coloured
I don't want your diamond necklace
Your disapproval cuts through
'Cause I see the way you look at me
I see the way you look at me
You don't have to tell me
hace cuanto no me encontraba frente a una pantalla a estas horas de la noche?
el sonido me atrapa... es lo único que podría calmar mi ansiedad mental...
gira y gira el cerebro y llega siempre al mismo lado...
cuando la solucion es darte tu espacio pero es el mismo veneno que me seca el alma.
sin poder expresar lo que intento descifrar...
ese nudo mental que tengo adentro que necesita salir para poder ser enfrentado.
I see the way you look at me......... you don't have to tell me.
and here I am listening to the same song over and over again.
the guitar seem to help me relax... should I even try to sleep?
the guitars cry the melody that my soul is afraid to embrace.
sometimes in order to give you what you need I have to let go of what I think is best.
forgive me for leaving you to your own thoughts...
you asked for it and even if it goes against my essence I need to let you be...
rest my love... I will be here, counting how many times I can listen to this song without getting tired.
Wednesday, November 9, 2016
Tuesday, November 1, 2016
Crumbs of the Mystery
se que espias por la ventana.
yo por fin cierro la cortina porque entendí que después del misterio no queda nada.
porque mis llaves abren otros cerrojos que nunca terminan de sorprenderme.
rincones, lugares, esquinas. todo para nadie y para mi completamente todo.
si algún dia logro descifrar casi todos los acertijos
y cruzar la mayoría de las encrucijadas
entonces sería la mas dichosa
la satisfecha sobreviviente.
y el premio nunca llega porque la lucha continua.
siempre hay otra vuelta, otro mapa, otro tesoro mejor.
esas son las formulas complicadas.
gracias a esas yo estoy acá,
con mas preguntas que respuestas
atrapada por el misterio de lo no explorado.
lo silvestre.
el paraíso espinado.
yo por fin cierro la cortina porque entendí que después del misterio no queda nada.
porque mis llaves abren otros cerrojos que nunca terminan de sorprenderme.
rincones, lugares, esquinas. todo para nadie y para mi completamente todo.
si algún dia logro descifrar casi todos los acertijos
y cruzar la mayoría de las encrucijadas
entonces sería la mas dichosa
la satisfecha sobreviviente.
y el premio nunca llega porque la lucha continua.
siempre hay otra vuelta, otro mapa, otro tesoro mejor.
esas son las formulas complicadas.
gracias a esas yo estoy acá,
con mas preguntas que respuestas
atrapada por el misterio de lo no explorado.
lo silvestre.
el paraíso espinado.
Sunday, October 30, 2016
Wednesday, May 4, 2016
10 Things I Know To Be True #28
1. Depending 110% on God is the only way. I know it might sound like something that is hard to understand in a practical level...what does that even look like in everyday life? well, to me it means that I need his Holy Spirit every single day, at any moment of the day. That is the only source of true wisdom and peace and that is the only thing that can hold me together when everything seems like is falling apart.
2. Being the bigger person is always better. This one is a tough one because it means that I have to choose to do the right thing...ALL THE TIME. This means that even when I'm right, I shouldn't speak. Even when things are unfair, I shouldn't try to take justice into my own hands. Even when people lie, I shouldn't be the one trying to expose them. Being the bigger person even when people treat you like you are the smallest one... at the end, what's actually important is to do the right thing every single time.
3. We build our life every day. The choices we make on the daily basis define the way our life is. This means that our "life" isn't what we take pictures of, what we buy, and where we go... is our choices. We choose our life every single day, with the things that we do, and the things we don't do...the things that we say, and the things we keep quiet. Every decision we make either takes us closer to who we want to be or further away from that. A good life doesn't just happen...It gets built. A good family doesn't just happen... we build it...every day.
4. Tough times teach us about ourselves. Difficult situations expose our nature. When things get rough what do you do? do you disappear? do you blame others for what's happening? do you respond accordingly and create a plan of action? do you show up and fight through the mess? Tough situations teach us things about ourselves that we didn't even know we had. Through these moments we learn what true support is, what our weaknesses and limitations are, and what we truly think about ourselves and the people around us.
5. Some battles you fight along with other people, and other battles you fight alone. Having a support system is very useful and important in our lives. I'm blessed to have many good and spiritual people that help me through rough times, but there are certain kinds of battles that we need to face alone. These battles are the toughest ones and if not confronted they could slowly destroy our lives and the people around us. Facing fears, limitations, insecurities and pain are things that, sadly, we need to do alone. This is the time were God is our strongest ally and biggest resource.
6. Being a blessing in somebody's life is better than looking for people who would be a blessing in my life. Having people in your life that are a blessing is a beautiful thing, but concentrating in becoming a blessing to the people around us is a bigger blessing. I don't mean the people that we like, or the people that already are good to us. I mean EVERYONE. The server at the restaurant, the shy girl that hardly ever talks to people, the old man sitting at Starbucks everyday alone on the same table, the girl you don't really like from your gym, the homeless guy on your corner, the lady that talks bad about you or spreads lies to hurt you... everyone. When you let God use you to bless people, it doesn't matter who it is... the one being transformed is you.
7. Is never too late to be as healthy as I want to be. This is a tough one because I always thought that if I wanted to be athletic or have muscles I would've had to start when I was a teenager and I had lost the chance. It's never too late to be healthy...It's never too late to start working out and getting in shape. It's never too late to start cross-fit (yeah, I had to drop the CF bomb somewhere in here...lol)
8. Certain people might never understand certain things. Common sense is not that common. Something I will never get tired of saying... there are certain things that some people don't have the ability to understand. I need to remind myself this everyday... there are many things I experience or decide that might not be understood by the people around me, even if I try very hard to explain. Life is unfair sometimes and reminding myself of this can help me cope with what I have in front of me. We all have limitations and most of the time the only thing we can do is pray that God is controlling everything and trust that He knows what's best because there isn't anything we can do that can help the situation to be any better.
9. We can't fight other people's battles. I wish I could.....so many times. But the truth is that we can't force people to face their problems and we can't resolve their issues for them. If they don't want to work on it, they simply won't. Even if it hurts us to see them suffer and not change their ways...we can't do the work for them. All we can do is provide the tools for them to be able to move forward and pray that they use the resources the have to grow and progress.
10. God is above anything and everything. This is not news for me, but it has become more real in my life than any other time before. God knows me...He sees me....he hears me...reads my thoughts.... sees the injustices, hears the lies... He is fully present in my life and He is above everything. He knows me inside and out, and still loves me. He provides the strength that I need... He is above politics, above bad leaders, above evil people, above unfair people, above all... He is the one and only source of true peace and wisdom. If I search for him everyday, at every moment, and let Him use me, He will turn around all of my bad moments into blessings.
2. Being the bigger person is always better. This one is a tough one because it means that I have to choose to do the right thing...ALL THE TIME. This means that even when I'm right, I shouldn't speak. Even when things are unfair, I shouldn't try to take justice into my own hands. Even when people lie, I shouldn't be the one trying to expose them. Being the bigger person even when people treat you like you are the smallest one... at the end, what's actually important is to do the right thing every single time.
3. We build our life every day. The choices we make on the daily basis define the way our life is. This means that our "life" isn't what we take pictures of, what we buy, and where we go... is our choices. We choose our life every single day, with the things that we do, and the things we don't do...the things that we say, and the things we keep quiet. Every decision we make either takes us closer to who we want to be or further away from that. A good life doesn't just happen...It gets built. A good family doesn't just happen... we build it...every day.
4. Tough times teach us about ourselves. Difficult situations expose our nature. When things get rough what do you do? do you disappear? do you blame others for what's happening? do you respond accordingly and create a plan of action? do you show up and fight through the mess? Tough situations teach us things about ourselves that we didn't even know we had. Through these moments we learn what true support is, what our weaknesses and limitations are, and what we truly think about ourselves and the people around us.
5. Some battles you fight along with other people, and other battles you fight alone. Having a support system is very useful and important in our lives. I'm blessed to have many good and spiritual people that help me through rough times, but there are certain kinds of battles that we need to face alone. These battles are the toughest ones and if not confronted they could slowly destroy our lives and the people around us. Facing fears, limitations, insecurities and pain are things that, sadly, we need to do alone. This is the time were God is our strongest ally and biggest resource.
6. Being a blessing in somebody's life is better than looking for people who would be a blessing in my life. Having people in your life that are a blessing is a beautiful thing, but concentrating in becoming a blessing to the people around us is a bigger blessing. I don't mean the people that we like, or the people that already are good to us. I mean EVERYONE. The server at the restaurant, the shy girl that hardly ever talks to people, the old man sitting at Starbucks everyday alone on the same table, the girl you don't really like from your gym, the homeless guy on your corner, the lady that talks bad about you or spreads lies to hurt you... everyone. When you let God use you to bless people, it doesn't matter who it is... the one being transformed is you.
7. Is never too late to be as healthy as I want to be. This is a tough one because I always thought that if I wanted to be athletic or have muscles I would've had to start when I was a teenager and I had lost the chance. It's never too late to be healthy...It's never too late to start working out and getting in shape. It's never too late to start cross-fit (yeah, I had to drop the CF bomb somewhere in here...lol)
8. Certain people might never understand certain things. Common sense is not that common. Something I will never get tired of saying... there are certain things that some people don't have the ability to understand. I need to remind myself this everyday... there are many things I experience or decide that might not be understood by the people around me, even if I try very hard to explain. Life is unfair sometimes and reminding myself of this can help me cope with what I have in front of me. We all have limitations and most of the time the only thing we can do is pray that God is controlling everything and trust that He knows what's best because there isn't anything we can do that can help the situation to be any better.
9. We can't fight other people's battles. I wish I could.....so many times. But the truth is that we can't force people to face their problems and we can't resolve their issues for them. If they don't want to work on it, they simply won't. Even if it hurts us to see them suffer and not change their ways...we can't do the work for them. All we can do is provide the tools for them to be able to move forward and pray that they use the resources the have to grow and progress.
10. God is above anything and everything. This is not news for me, but it has become more real in my life than any other time before. God knows me...He sees me....he hears me...reads my thoughts.... sees the injustices, hears the lies... He is fully present in my life and He is above everything. He knows me inside and out, and still loves me. He provides the strength that I need... He is above politics, above bad leaders, above evil people, above unfair people, above all... He is the one and only source of true peace and wisdom. If I search for him everyday, at every moment, and let Him use me, He will turn around all of my bad moments into blessings.
Thursday, April 14, 2016
Dora
Aquella mujer desconocida que en pocos minutos se hizo parte de mi mundo...
me miro a los ojos y me dijo:
"You are only 28? the best is yet to come... trust me, life gets so much better than now..."
It's like she looked through my eyes straight to my soul.
As my eyes got filled with tears I smiled back and said,
"thank you.... I needed that"
Me apreto la mano y me miro por unos segundos fijamente a los ojos mientras se llenaban de lagrimas.
Su nombre es Dora.
We were meant to cross paths,
at least for one deep moment of human connection that transformed in divine intervention.
Thank you Jesus for being so present.
The world still has your spirit.
me miro a los ojos y me dijo:
"You are only 28? the best is yet to come... trust me, life gets so much better than now..."
It's like she looked through my eyes straight to my soul.
As my eyes got filled with tears I smiled back and said,
"thank you.... I needed that"
Me apreto la mano y me miro por unos segundos fijamente a los ojos mientras se llenaban de lagrimas.
Su nombre es Dora.
We were meant to cross paths,
at least for one deep moment of human connection that transformed in divine intervention.
Thank you Jesus for being so present.
The world still has your spirit.
Monday, March 14, 2016
Palabras al Viento
Consecuencias.
Esa palabra la usamos, la tiramos, la repetimos.
que facil que es tirar palabras al viento.
Mi pregunta es si realmente la entendemos?
en nuestra mente finita y temporal a veces limitamos las consecuencias.
para los niños las consecuencias son inmediatas, rápidas, lo que viene segundos después de la acción.
Para los adolescentes las consecuencias sobreviven por un intervalo de tiempo.
Las hechos parecen que no las tuvieran si no pasa nada en las próximas horas...
y dos semanas después se olvidan sus acciones como si fuera una hoja arrancada del cuaderno cada lunes de mañana.
En el mundo de los adultos las consecuencias son medidas a largo plazo,
o por lo menos eso es lo que nos decimos a nosotros mismos.
pero realmente cuan largo ese ese plazo con el cual decidimos?
el proximo año?
los próximos cinco años?
tomamos las decisiones polarizando los tiempos, lo que necesito ahora en mi vida, o lo que necesito para el resto de mi vida.
Por eso tenemos miedo de elegir a alguien con quien casarnos pero no tenemos problema en darles la oportunidad de entregarnos su vida en el presente--- o robarles su vida del presente hablando de lo posiblemente eterno.
-----que facil que es tirar palabras al viento.
Los adultos nos jactamos de tener una manera de ver el mundo mas amplia que nuestros hijos y nos mentimos pensando que somos mas maduros porque consideramos nuestra vida a largo plazo.
pero realmente nos damos cuenta de lo trascendental que es todo lo que hacemos?
muchas veces no queremos asociar los hechos y mirar hacia atras a ver cuanto nos afecto lo que decidimos porque este ejercicio nos pone en un lugar vulnerable de completa y desnuda imperfección.
Otras veces queremos buscar a quien culpar, o que situación tenemos que remover de nuestras vidas...o hasta algo mas grave... a que persona tenemos que remover.
Pero la respuesta nunca esta afuera.
Nosotros mismos vamos caminando por la vida pensando que todo lo que hacemos o decimos es insignificante.
Pero todo cae por su peso.
TODO tiene consecuencias.
Las consecuencias nos alcanzan, nos persiguen,
no discriminan y no nos abandonan.
No importa donde vivimos ni en donde nos escondemos.
Todos pagamos las consecuencias
con nuestro dolor,
con nuestra soledad.
con nuestros miedos,
con nuestra realidad.
y tristemente con la realidad de los que nos rodean.
y como si fuera poco....cuando no encontramos a quien mas culpar,
culpamos a Dios.
que facil que es tirar palabras al viento.
es tiempo de hacerse cargo.
esta es tu vida: el producto de tus decisiones.
ya no hay mas culpables que uno mismo.
la pregunta que hoy tenes que hacer es la siguiente.
y ahora que?
que voy a hacer yo al respecto?
voy a aprender? voy a enfrentar? voy a luchar?
voy a hacerlo solo? voy a invitar a Dios a que luche conmigo?
voy a pensar en las consecuencias?
solo vos tenes las respuestas.
Esa palabra la usamos, la tiramos, la repetimos.
que facil que es tirar palabras al viento.
Mi pregunta es si realmente la entendemos?
en nuestra mente finita y temporal a veces limitamos las consecuencias.
para los niños las consecuencias son inmediatas, rápidas, lo que viene segundos después de la acción.
Para los adolescentes las consecuencias sobreviven por un intervalo de tiempo.
Las hechos parecen que no las tuvieran si no pasa nada en las próximas horas...
y dos semanas después se olvidan sus acciones como si fuera una hoja arrancada del cuaderno cada lunes de mañana.
En el mundo de los adultos las consecuencias son medidas a largo plazo,
o por lo menos eso es lo que nos decimos a nosotros mismos.
pero realmente cuan largo ese ese plazo con el cual decidimos?
el proximo año?
los próximos cinco años?
tomamos las decisiones polarizando los tiempos, lo que necesito ahora en mi vida, o lo que necesito para el resto de mi vida.
Por eso tenemos miedo de elegir a alguien con quien casarnos pero no tenemos problema en darles la oportunidad de entregarnos su vida en el presente--- o robarles su vida del presente hablando de lo posiblemente eterno.
-----que facil que es tirar palabras al viento.
Los adultos nos jactamos de tener una manera de ver el mundo mas amplia que nuestros hijos y nos mentimos pensando que somos mas maduros porque consideramos nuestra vida a largo plazo.
pero realmente nos damos cuenta de lo trascendental que es todo lo que hacemos?
muchas veces no queremos asociar los hechos y mirar hacia atras a ver cuanto nos afecto lo que decidimos porque este ejercicio nos pone en un lugar vulnerable de completa y desnuda imperfección.
Otras veces queremos buscar a quien culpar, o que situación tenemos que remover de nuestras vidas...o hasta algo mas grave... a que persona tenemos que remover.
Pero la respuesta nunca esta afuera.
Nosotros mismos vamos caminando por la vida pensando que todo lo que hacemos o decimos es insignificante.
Pero todo cae por su peso.
TODO tiene consecuencias.
Las consecuencias nos alcanzan, nos persiguen,
no discriminan y no nos abandonan.
No importa donde vivimos ni en donde nos escondemos.
Todos pagamos las consecuencias
con nuestro dolor,
con nuestra soledad.
con nuestros miedos,
con nuestra realidad.
y tristemente con la realidad de los que nos rodean.
y como si fuera poco....cuando no encontramos a quien mas culpar,
culpamos a Dios.
que facil que es tirar palabras al viento.
es tiempo de hacerse cargo.
esta es tu vida: el producto de tus decisiones.
ya no hay mas culpables que uno mismo.
la pregunta que hoy tenes que hacer es la siguiente.
y ahora que?
que voy a hacer yo al respecto?
voy a aprender? voy a enfrentar? voy a luchar?
voy a hacerlo solo? voy a invitar a Dios a que luche conmigo?
voy a pensar en las consecuencias?
solo vos tenes las respuestas.
Wednesday, January 13, 2016
Monday, May 4, 2015
10 Things I Know To Be True #27
1. Every relationship is different. I may have a guideline or and idea of what a relationship could look like, but the truth is that every relationship is unique, with variables that i don't know, so i should never judge a relationship from the outside and assume i know whats best for it. So many things happen that i'm not aware of. Therefore i also shouldn't judge my own relationship with outside standards. I may want to work on it to reach certain balance, but i never should do it to resemble other relationships or to fulfill a specific social stereotype. Every relationship is different, and my only standard should be The Bible. Am i portraying Jesus' character through my relationship?
2. Every person is a whole new different world. Each of us come with a background, a life story, guidelines, experiences, ideas, standards, values, insecurities and pain. Each of us have a way of responding to the environment. I should always remember to take into account the context. I should never forget that not everyone is like me, or had the same experiences i did, therefore their perspective on something might be the total opposite of mine.
3. Life is complex, not complicated. So many people, and variables to take into account... Things aren't complicated, that just gives a negative spin to things when in reality it's not negative, it's just harder. But hard doesn't mean impossible. Sometimes the whole "no pain no gain" motto is on point, specially regarding relationships. "Nobody said it was easy" say Coldplay, i agree.
4. There is beauty in brokenness. When you have given everything you have, when things are rough, when you have no more tears or personal strength and are left vulnerable hoping someone will love you in spite of your weaknesses and insecurities. When the only thing left you can possibly do is cry out to God to restore you and to fight the battles for you. When everything seems to be bigger than you. You are perfectly in tune with the essence of the creation. I find that to be beautiful in a special way because you are actually able to feel God as close as never before. You understand that there isn't one more breath you can take without His help. You can't fix anything, you can't think anything, you won't do anything without His Spirit in you. It's a shame we have to brake ourselves so much in order to experience this.
5. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. ALL THINGS. That includes forgiving and forgetting. To be able to overcome the desire of eating every time i feel anxious or sad. The motivation to work out. The ability to love even when i'm hurting. Having a peace in the middle of a storm. They seem like cliches, but they are real in my life.
6. Not everything that's good, it's good for me. I have come to understand that not because things are good, i should do them. There are so many things that are good for certain people that applied to my life it could be catastrophic. That's why i shouldn't do every fitness program that it exists, i shouldn't buy every product that they sell, i should't wear every trend, i shouldn't eat every kind of food, and i shouldn't take every advice and make it my own. EVEN IF IT'S GOOD. Because not every relationship is the same, not every body is the same, not every effect will be the same. We can have the same variables and get different results, so i should always discriminate which things are good FOR ME, or FOR US, then just to take things because they are proven to work, apply them to my life and expect amazing results. Not everything is clear cut, black and white, if-it's-not-working-you-must-be-doing-it-wrong deal.
7. The most expensive things in life, are the ones you can't buy. Another not so surprising realization. But it doesn't hurt to say it again. There isn't enough things you can buy that will make you happy. You can have the best clothes, cars, house, and gadgets. You can travel the world and eat at the best places. But if you have a bitter heart, nothing you do or buy will help you to be ok. I don't even say to be happy, i just say to be OK. Relationships can build you up or destroy you. Work in them, invest in them, cherish them.... they hold the sweetness of your heart. Work in them sometimes might mean to look at people trying to understand where they are coming from... Investing in them might mean to not only set time apart to share but to also put aside your pride or ego to make room for the relationship to grow. Cherish them might mean you need to pay a little more attention to details or to reach out even when you don't think it's your place to do the apologizing. NOTHING you have or do will have flavor if you are doing it alone, or aren't connecting to the person you are doing it with.
8. Happiness shouldn't be your ultimate goal. That's not what we are here for. The pursuit of happiness is a concept that society created in our mind to control what we do, buy and want. You don't "find" or "reach" happiness. It's not a place to get to, and it's not a reward for suffering so much. Happiness is one more feeling, just like all of the other feelings we experience once in a while. It shouldn't be the end goal because we would just be setting ourselves up for failure. We can't retain it as something we win or buy and it certainly won't help us fix things. The pursuit of happiness actually stands in between US and OTHERS. It puts our desires before anything, and everything....or EVERYONE. In the name of Happiness we destroy families, brake relationships, waste money, compare ourselves with others, and feed our ego, pride and entitlement. And don't even try to tell me "God wants me to be happy" because it would seem like you haven't read your Bible, ever. I could list text after text where God says that we will suffer in this world, but that He will always be with us, to help us, and that one day He will come and get us and takes us where we will truly be happy. He wants us to get saved, to be eternally happy with Him...Not to make a perfect little house down here and hold it tight and fight for it at the cost of relationships to make it seem like we are happy. Does He want us to enjoy life? yes, He rejoices when we are happy. But that's not the ultimate goal. The ultimate goal is to get to Heaven and help others get to Heaven.
9. Having the control is overrated. You can do everything "right" and still don't get what you "deserve". Life isn't about controlling everything that goes on around us. This one is a hard lesson i had to learn. You can't control situations or people...sometimes is hard to even control ourselves! what makes us believe we can control others? The only thing i can do is choose how i want to handle situations. I can think on my main goal and work towards it, but i can't control what the outcome will be. Because life is complex, and there are other people involved, with other variables. Therefore, not everything will come out how i expect it, and certainly not everything i do might be interpreted the way i was intending. When we realize that we can't control everything is when we actually start to have the power to change our mindset or our behavior. Because we finally give up on trying to do it all, and when the pressure is off, we can focus on what we can actually do, no matter how small that is. Small behaviors can go a long way under desperate measures. Ask God to control your mind, and tackle the little things you can do within you to make a situation better.
10. It's hard to make sense measuring with different sensors. Sometimes what makes sense to us is very different to what makes sense to others. That doesn't make them wrong, and certainly doesn't mean we are wrong. It just means we are different. We might be measuring things with a different sensor. That is when compromise comes in. No one owns the truth, or the best way to everything. We need to learn how to appreciate someone else's perspective, even when it sounds like nails on chock-board. If we don't have to agree to live our lives, than why even bother to argue about it? If you have to make a decision with them, then try to understand where they are coming from, and try to communicate where you are coming from. Nothing good comes out of attacking someone's point of view right off the bat without even trying to understand a little more, because sometimes they will hold a truth we haven't discovered yet, or you might be able to make someone grow with our insight on a matter. Not all journeys are the same, and when it comes to human beings, most of the time there isn't just one answer to everything.
2. Every person is a whole new different world. Each of us come with a background, a life story, guidelines, experiences, ideas, standards, values, insecurities and pain. Each of us have a way of responding to the environment. I should always remember to take into account the context. I should never forget that not everyone is like me, or had the same experiences i did, therefore their perspective on something might be the total opposite of mine.
3. Life is complex, not complicated. So many people, and variables to take into account... Things aren't complicated, that just gives a negative spin to things when in reality it's not negative, it's just harder. But hard doesn't mean impossible. Sometimes the whole "no pain no gain" motto is on point, specially regarding relationships. "Nobody said it was easy" say Coldplay, i agree.
4. There is beauty in brokenness. When you have given everything you have, when things are rough, when you have no more tears or personal strength and are left vulnerable hoping someone will love you in spite of your weaknesses and insecurities. When the only thing left you can possibly do is cry out to God to restore you and to fight the battles for you. When everything seems to be bigger than you. You are perfectly in tune with the essence of the creation. I find that to be beautiful in a special way because you are actually able to feel God as close as never before. You understand that there isn't one more breath you can take without His help. You can't fix anything, you can't think anything, you won't do anything without His Spirit in you. It's a shame we have to brake ourselves so much in order to experience this.
5. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. ALL THINGS. That includes forgiving and forgetting. To be able to overcome the desire of eating every time i feel anxious or sad. The motivation to work out. The ability to love even when i'm hurting. Having a peace in the middle of a storm. They seem like cliches, but they are real in my life.
6. Not everything that's good, it's good for me. I have come to understand that not because things are good, i should do them. There are so many things that are good for certain people that applied to my life it could be catastrophic. That's why i shouldn't do every fitness program that it exists, i shouldn't buy every product that they sell, i should't wear every trend, i shouldn't eat every kind of food, and i shouldn't take every advice and make it my own. EVEN IF IT'S GOOD. Because not every relationship is the same, not every body is the same, not every effect will be the same. We can have the same variables and get different results, so i should always discriminate which things are good FOR ME, or FOR US, then just to take things because they are proven to work, apply them to my life and expect amazing results. Not everything is clear cut, black and white, if-it's-not-working-you-must-be-doing-it-wrong deal.
7. The most expensive things in life, are the ones you can't buy. Another not so surprising realization. But it doesn't hurt to say it again. There isn't enough things you can buy that will make you happy. You can have the best clothes, cars, house, and gadgets. You can travel the world and eat at the best places. But if you have a bitter heart, nothing you do or buy will help you to be ok. I don't even say to be happy, i just say to be OK. Relationships can build you up or destroy you. Work in them, invest in them, cherish them.... they hold the sweetness of your heart. Work in them sometimes might mean to look at people trying to understand where they are coming from... Investing in them might mean to not only set time apart to share but to also put aside your pride or ego to make room for the relationship to grow. Cherish them might mean you need to pay a little more attention to details or to reach out even when you don't think it's your place to do the apologizing. NOTHING you have or do will have flavor if you are doing it alone, or aren't connecting to the person you are doing it with.
8. Happiness shouldn't be your ultimate goal. That's not what we are here for. The pursuit of happiness is a concept that society created in our mind to control what we do, buy and want. You don't "find" or "reach" happiness. It's not a place to get to, and it's not a reward for suffering so much. Happiness is one more feeling, just like all of the other feelings we experience once in a while. It shouldn't be the end goal because we would just be setting ourselves up for failure. We can't retain it as something we win or buy and it certainly won't help us fix things. The pursuit of happiness actually stands in between US and OTHERS. It puts our desires before anything, and everything....or EVERYONE. In the name of Happiness we destroy families, brake relationships, waste money, compare ourselves with others, and feed our ego, pride and entitlement. And don't even try to tell me "God wants me to be happy" because it would seem like you haven't read your Bible, ever. I could list text after text where God says that we will suffer in this world, but that He will always be with us, to help us, and that one day He will come and get us and takes us where we will truly be happy. He wants us to get saved, to be eternally happy with Him...Not to make a perfect little house down here and hold it tight and fight for it at the cost of relationships to make it seem like we are happy. Does He want us to enjoy life? yes, He rejoices when we are happy. But that's not the ultimate goal. The ultimate goal is to get to Heaven and help others get to Heaven.
9. Having the control is overrated. You can do everything "right" and still don't get what you "deserve". Life isn't about controlling everything that goes on around us. This one is a hard lesson i had to learn. You can't control situations or people...sometimes is hard to even control ourselves! what makes us believe we can control others? The only thing i can do is choose how i want to handle situations. I can think on my main goal and work towards it, but i can't control what the outcome will be. Because life is complex, and there are other people involved, with other variables. Therefore, not everything will come out how i expect it, and certainly not everything i do might be interpreted the way i was intending. When we realize that we can't control everything is when we actually start to have the power to change our mindset or our behavior. Because we finally give up on trying to do it all, and when the pressure is off, we can focus on what we can actually do, no matter how small that is. Small behaviors can go a long way under desperate measures. Ask God to control your mind, and tackle the little things you can do within you to make a situation better.
10. It's hard to make sense measuring with different sensors. Sometimes what makes sense to us is very different to what makes sense to others. That doesn't make them wrong, and certainly doesn't mean we are wrong. It just means we are different. We might be measuring things with a different sensor. That is when compromise comes in. No one owns the truth, or the best way to everything. We need to learn how to appreciate someone else's perspective, even when it sounds like nails on chock-board. If we don't have to agree to live our lives, than why even bother to argue about it? If you have to make a decision with them, then try to understand where they are coming from, and try to communicate where you are coming from. Nothing good comes out of attacking someone's point of view right off the bat without even trying to understand a little more, because sometimes they will hold a truth we haven't discovered yet, or you might be able to make someone grow with our insight on a matter. Not all journeys are the same, and when it comes to human beings, most of the time there isn't just one answer to everything.
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
What are you building your home with?
The Floating Axe Head
6 Now the sons of the prophets said to Elisha, “Look, the place where we are living with you is too small for us. 2 Let us go to the Jordan and take from there one beam per man, and let us make for ourselves a place to live there.”
And Elisha said, “Go.”
3 Then one of them said, “Please come with your servants.”
And he said, “I will come.” 4 So he went with them.
And they came to the Jordan and cut down trees. 5 But as one was cutting down a tree, the axe head fell into the water. He cried, “Ah, master! It was borrowed.”
6 Then the man of God said, “Where did it fall?” When he showed him the place, he cut off a stick, and threw it in there, and he made the iron float.
2 Kings 6:1-6Modern English Version (MEV)
I came across this Bible story today.
I always wondered why God decided to help this men find the axe head that fell into the river. When i was younger i would simplify the explanation by believing that God understood that it was and accident and since the axe head was borrowed it would be nice to make the little miracle so no one would suffer the mistake of a clumsy guy...
....but that conclusion always left me unsatisfied because it would mean that God wouldn't help you if it was your own axe because if you are careless and don't take care of your own things you need the consequences of your actions to catch up to you in order to learn the lesson.
That just doesn't make sense.
But God never writes anything in the Bible just because...
I paused to think about this for a couple of minutes.
--The answer is right in front of my nose and all this time i couldn't see it... Maybe is due to the fact that at this point in my life i finally have my own home. Is very exciting when you get your own place... You start dreaming on all of the things you wish to do with it, and how you want it to look to represent your true essence.--
I can relate to this story. They were trying to build themselves a bigger home.
They needed the axe to build their home.
--What am i trying to build my own home with?--
I sat down in silence and thought about this for a moment.
--When i got married i was so sure how i was going to build my home: with lots of LOVE above all, PATIENCE and UNDERSTANDING.--
It's so easy to forget this three things when you are caught up in the moment... when things don't go the way you want them to, when your feelings are hurt, when you feel as if life is unfair and you don't deserve whats happening to you.
No matter how much you try, you can never go back to the "happy place" when you are thinking on everything that bothers you. You can't go back to that peace that you had in your wedding day when everything was beautiful and perfect.
Then you realize that your Axe is borrowed.
Everything i know to be true to help me build a home, is borrowed. I cannot generate it by myself, nor can my husband do it for me. I simply have to ask for it back.
That's why God decided to make the axe head float on the water. He knows they needed it to build their home, and he provided.
God is always willing to give it back to you.
You lost your patience? your love? your understanding? Your peace of mind?
If you ask, God is willing to give it to you again.
God is love, patience and understanding, and He is willing to give himself to us every second, every minute, every day.
God will make your axe head float every time it falls on the water.
Thursday, December 18, 2014
*sigh*
Nada como sentirte a la vuelta de la esquina de mi almohada.
El poder estirar mis dedos congelados y tocar tus piernas ásperas de macho alfa.
Cada segundo que respiras profundo recordándome que elegiste dormir conmigo todas tus noches.
Recordándome que mi casa esta acá, entre tus brazos y sobre tu pecho buscando el ritmo de tu corazón que se va enlenteciendo mientras te hundís en sueño profundo.
El poder estirar mis dedos congelados y tocar tus piernas ásperas de macho alfa.
Cada segundo que respiras profundo recordándome que elegiste dormir conmigo todas tus noches.
Recordándome que mi casa esta acá, entre tus brazos y sobre tu pecho buscando el ritmo de tu corazón que se va enlenteciendo mientras te hundís en sueño profundo.
Friday, August 22, 2014
esa tumba no es mía.
me sorprende algo que realmente no me sorprende.
me entristece pero me asegura lo que ya sabía que era asegurado.
no me afecta ni altera la existencia mas que mirar atrás y sonreír por lo abandonado.
nos hace reír y al mismo tiempo pegar una patada sobre el piso, o un puño en la mesa,
como tanto puede cambiar y uno no ser cambiado.
el nudo del estomago por recordar algo que ya había olvidado.
la sonrisa sarcástica de sacar la ficha, y entender algo que sería mejor ni analizarlo.
el pésame, la ironía, lo agridulce que parece amargo.
la capacidad de reinventarse y quedar siempre del mismo lado.
la inhabilidad de abrir los ojos a las obvias mentiras que todos compran con el sueño idealizado.
tristeza cierta, inseguridad palpitante, miedo ajeno.
siempre la misma historia,
redundan las palabras
sobran, se repiten.
y el ciclo no para.
"Gracias a la vida que me ha dado tanto"
me entristece pero me asegura lo que ya sabía que era asegurado.
no me afecta ni altera la existencia mas que mirar atrás y sonreír por lo abandonado.
nos hace reír y al mismo tiempo pegar una patada sobre el piso, o un puño en la mesa,
como tanto puede cambiar y uno no ser cambiado.
el nudo del estomago por recordar algo que ya había olvidado.
la sonrisa sarcástica de sacar la ficha, y entender algo que sería mejor ni analizarlo.
el pésame, la ironía, lo agridulce que parece amargo.
la capacidad de reinventarse y quedar siempre del mismo lado.
la inhabilidad de abrir los ojos a las obvias mentiras que todos compran con el sueño idealizado.
tristeza cierta, inseguridad palpitante, miedo ajeno.
siempre la misma historia,
redundan las palabras
sobran, se repiten.
y el ciclo no para.
"Gracias a la vida que me ha dado tanto"
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
The End Of It
Un dia cambie.
Deje de ser la de antes y me transforme en lo mas temido.
como los superheroes que despues de ser poseidos por el villano comienzan a usar sus poderes para el mal y no para el bien.
la pesadilla temida de Marvel.
Deje de ser yo en resultado final.
sigo siendo de la misma esencia de intensidad.
Mi papa a veces recuerda quien fui.
Sonrie, cuenta historias.
a veces las escucho y me parecen que era de nena molesta.
que ahora estoy mucho mas centrada y calmada.
que logre madurar.
el me mira extraniado y dice que no... que yo no era molesta.
que a el le encantaba...le fasinaba escuchar mis maneras...
despues se le oscurecen los ojos.
mira para el suelo.
se confunde.
siente algun tipo de responsabilidad o culpa.
no entiende ni sabe que me paso.
para el, las explicaciones tienen nombre y apellido.
algo me paso, o paso por mi vida que me rompio.
me cambio.
me ensucio.
me transformo en algo feo.
saco mi brillo y picardia.
a veces pienso en su teoria y me la creo.
despues decido que no es asi,
que me reuso a darle una responsabilidad tan grande a una persona tan insignificate.
tan rota. tan confundida....
igualmente se me hace un nudo en la garganta.
mi papa tiene razón en algo.
en algun momento deje de ser lo que era.
ahora aprendo a apreciar lo que todos dicen que extrañan.
pienso que hubo muchas cosas y personas que me llevaron hasta acá.
pienso que yo podría haber evadido todas las situaciones.
cortado con relaciones venenosas antes que me marquen tanto.
capaz ahora podría ser la de antes....
----------
me hiere no poder ser aquella mujer que mi hombre se merece.
me duele que el tenga que pagar por los errores ajenos.
me enoja que ahora tenga que luchar contra mis ansiedades y miedos.
el se merece todo.
todo lo que alguna vez fue lo mejor de mi ser.
ahora tiene las migajas de mi alegría rota.
-----------
todos pagan...algun dia todos pagan...
---------------
pego un salto fuera de este tren de pensamientos que lleva a la destrucción del ser.
llego a la conclusión que por mas rota que este, estoy acá.
con esta persona que me ama tanto...
que esta dispuesta a hacer lo que sea por que yo vuelva a tener mi intensa manera de vivir en el lado positivo de la vida.
no hay nada mas hermoso que conocer la verdadera esencia del ser de una persona que esta incondicionalmente entregada a protegerte.
nada mas hermoso que la seguridad de ser amada.
nada mas refrescante que saber que nadie se va a ningun lado.
que la vida hay que lucharla juntos.
que hay que decidir ser felices.
que hay que construir un hogar.
que hay que amar por sobre todo.
--------------------
quizas nunca logre ser la que era antes.
voy a ser mejor.
--------------------------
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
10 Things I Know To Be True #26
10 things i know to be true:
1. I cannot do it all. I can't go through life expecting to be perfect or do everything right for everyone. What i can do is love. i can love as hard as i can and open my heart as much as it can possibly be open... i can hope and trust not to get hurt by the people I'm trying to reach, but i will never close my hands to what i can give and receive.
2. I can accept. I can accept people and their stories. I can understand that no one is exempt from hurting or laughter. I can realize that we all have our things we can't control and that sometimes...maybe sometimes we really wish we could. Those things that hurt, not only us, but mostly all. In those moments we really hate them and sometimes we hate ourselves even more. Not being able to go back in time to fix them, not being able to heal the wounded, or to just simply justify them at all...
3. I can grow. I can choose to learn from my experiences. I can choose to learn from yours. I can choose to be a catalyst of change to others. I can choose to just let it go. I can try to be a better person, each day, every day... but i can also learn that change hurts. Sometimes growing means different, and no one ever likes different... not at all. Change is scary, life is even more... but without changing, there isn't growing, and without growing, is it even life at all?
4. I can fly. Flying is a form of freedom, at least that's what i believe... but see, we keep on tying ourselves down to the Earth, as if we could get anything good from it. Sometimes we tie ourselves to money, our job, other's expectations, our past, our insecurities. We should always remember we can fly... the closer we try to be connected to Heaven the better we will feel, the more possibilities we will see, the more flexibility to making choices we will have, and the more peace we will feel when we make the choices that we had.
5. I am not who i think i am. I am not who others see i am. I am not who i write i am. I could never know who i truly am. I can tell you who i think i am, but it'll be only my judgment of who i want to be and how close i am to being that person. I can ask people who they think i am; but that will only give me a reflection of what they are tinted with the reality of what they see in me, and it will be based on the conclusions they get out of the reality we shared together, just a mere collection of experiences viewed through the lenses of their feelings and ideas while we where sharing them. So i can't trust what they say i am, and i can't trust what i see in me. So i am only left with no choice but to believe.... believe that there is a Creator that decided to create me one day. Who has the answers of who i am, how i am, and why i do the things that i do. That's why my life is an endless pursue of that Creator, trying to imitate Him, and to create things just like He does. That's why i write, sing, talk, listen, draw, paint, dance, feel...that's why i live.
6. I have to express myself. Expressing is connecting. Connecting is the purpose of my existence. I can't be quiet and not share the things i find to be true, and i can't expect everyone to agree or even understand why they are true to me now. They might change tomorrow, that's why I'm choosing to share them today. They might be the opposite of someone elses' truth, but that doesn't mean I'm right or wrong, it just means i am. I feel, i live, i learn. I discover new things every day, and i need to take a pause in silence to be able to absorb the essence of what i experience. My journey may be very different from everyone elses', but it is the most important indeed....at least to me... please don't think that i don't appreciate yours too. In the moment that you share your discoveries we connect, and for that moment i become you and you become me, and we both walk away being different people than before.
7. The more i watch children the more i see my own imperfections and flaws. They say you need to have children to understand who you are. I say, i don't need to have them myself, but just with having them around me i get a pretty good idea of what these people meant. I am flawed, i am selfish, and sometimes it comes in small packages of things that don't even matter... just like when you pick up a sugar package for your coffee and realize you actually picked up the sweetener that in the long run will give you cancer. That's why is so hard to even realize that i am all of those things. But when you have kids, that's when you realize them. That's when you start measuring your reactions and words as if they are the last things you will do on Earth. That's when you start feeling that your insecurities actually do affect you and you start getting scared they will come out and hurt them. That's when you have to exercise the amazing concept taught in school of "perspective". When you have to respond to someone elses' need. When you see someone so much more fragile and naive than you, and is up to your maturity to lead their way, to fulfill their emotional needs, to answer their questions and listen to their stories, to hug them, kiss them, to make sure they eat or that when they are sleeping they don't freeze. That's when you realize how imperfect you are... how selfish you can get, and how important is your role. No matter for how long you have them, no matter if they are asking for your help or not, no matter if they are looking at you or not. You have a responsibility to be better, stronger, to act with integrity, to make wise decisions, and decide everyday not to be selfish. To be able to stop and think before you act, and to measure your actual true intentions behind whatever you do.
8. Relationships are hard, but they are the most beautiful thing we have on this Earth. I know that we can't measure all relationships with the same scale. We need to understand that there is more than what the eyes can see..that we can paint a picture of what something should look like, but we can't expect our reality to be the same. We can work towards it, we can have a common goal, we can die trying to reach it, but we can't be ashamed of what we created if our hearts and minds where in tune with each other in the process of making it happen. We can't decide which reality other people should try to get. We can't look at someone elses' painting and criticize it or tear it down just because we didn't like the colors that they decided to use, or the brushes they chose to do it. We can worry about our own painting. We can wake up everyday and choose to make it better, to add glitter, to change colors, to use a thin brush for the details and a thick one to finish faster. The only one who has the divine right to tell you how to paint it is the Creator, who is artist number one and only, but even He takes the back sit and waits for you to come and ask for his advice and intervention.
9. Apologizing doesn't kill. Yes, this is a hard one. For some people is something they learned a long time ago, for me, is something i am still trying to learn. I know it to be true indeed, but i forget to use it most of the time. Usually because it comes with the bad feeling of humility (some people call it inferiority) and with the high risk of rejection (specially when is a big one), so most people try to avoid it as much as they can... but reality is, that the more you avoid it, the bigger it gets, and the bigger it gets the faster it will kill you. oh, wait.. Didn't i just say that it doesn't kill? i meant your Ego. The faster it will kill your Ego.. but then again, isn't your ego more dangerous anyway? Is hard to admit it. But it's true. Apologizing opens doors to so many things we want and need... Th biggest one in my opinion? The one that most of the time is ignored and devalued as something old fashioned, but we so desperately want and need: Intimacy.
10. Being sensitive is a good thing. Being able to experience life at it's fullest. Laughing, crying, laughing again... yes, sometimes to little stupid things, and other times to really big things. Feeling is what drives us to anything we do. The feeling of success, closeness, love, companionship... we get motivated by good feelings to keep on living, and by bad feelings to avoid or reject. Feeling is a part of life. Expressing our feelings is what connects us to each other. Without them we wouldn't be able to create. Don't be afraid to feel. Don't be ashamed to feel. Is who you are, and is how you where created to be. So stand up and praise! Cry if you have to! Laugh with others! Hug them if necessary! Create beautiful things! Love everyone! Dance without caring who is watching! Fly closer to Heaven in everything you do! Ask questions and connect to others with the answers! Whatever you do, don't ever forget to feel...don't ever forget live and share The Love!
1. I cannot do it all. I can't go through life expecting to be perfect or do everything right for everyone. What i can do is love. i can love as hard as i can and open my heart as much as it can possibly be open... i can hope and trust not to get hurt by the people I'm trying to reach, but i will never close my hands to what i can give and receive.
2. I can accept. I can accept people and their stories. I can understand that no one is exempt from hurting or laughter. I can realize that we all have our things we can't control and that sometimes...maybe sometimes we really wish we could. Those things that hurt, not only us, but mostly all. In those moments we really hate them and sometimes we hate ourselves even more. Not being able to go back in time to fix them, not being able to heal the wounded, or to just simply justify them at all...
3. I can grow. I can choose to learn from my experiences. I can choose to learn from yours. I can choose to be a catalyst of change to others. I can choose to just let it go. I can try to be a better person, each day, every day... but i can also learn that change hurts. Sometimes growing means different, and no one ever likes different... not at all. Change is scary, life is even more... but without changing, there isn't growing, and without growing, is it even life at all?
4. I can fly. Flying is a form of freedom, at least that's what i believe... but see, we keep on tying ourselves down to the Earth, as if we could get anything good from it. Sometimes we tie ourselves to money, our job, other's expectations, our past, our insecurities. We should always remember we can fly... the closer we try to be connected to Heaven the better we will feel, the more possibilities we will see, the more flexibility to making choices we will have, and the more peace we will feel when we make the choices that we had.
5. I am not who i think i am. I am not who others see i am. I am not who i write i am. I could never know who i truly am. I can tell you who i think i am, but it'll be only my judgment of who i want to be and how close i am to being that person. I can ask people who they think i am; but that will only give me a reflection of what they are tinted with the reality of what they see in me, and it will be based on the conclusions they get out of the reality we shared together, just a mere collection of experiences viewed through the lenses of their feelings and ideas while we where sharing them. So i can't trust what they say i am, and i can't trust what i see in me. So i am only left with no choice but to believe.... believe that there is a Creator that decided to create me one day. Who has the answers of who i am, how i am, and why i do the things that i do. That's why my life is an endless pursue of that Creator, trying to imitate Him, and to create things just like He does. That's why i write, sing, talk, listen, draw, paint, dance, feel...that's why i live.
6. I have to express myself. Expressing is connecting. Connecting is the purpose of my existence. I can't be quiet and not share the things i find to be true, and i can't expect everyone to agree or even understand why they are true to me now. They might change tomorrow, that's why I'm choosing to share them today. They might be the opposite of someone elses' truth, but that doesn't mean I'm right or wrong, it just means i am. I feel, i live, i learn. I discover new things every day, and i need to take a pause in silence to be able to absorb the essence of what i experience. My journey may be very different from everyone elses', but it is the most important indeed....at least to me... please don't think that i don't appreciate yours too. In the moment that you share your discoveries we connect, and for that moment i become you and you become me, and we both walk away being different people than before.
7. The more i watch children the more i see my own imperfections and flaws. They say you need to have children to understand who you are. I say, i don't need to have them myself, but just with having them around me i get a pretty good idea of what these people meant. I am flawed, i am selfish, and sometimes it comes in small packages of things that don't even matter... just like when you pick up a sugar package for your coffee and realize you actually picked up the sweetener that in the long run will give you cancer. That's why is so hard to even realize that i am all of those things. But when you have kids, that's when you realize them. That's when you start measuring your reactions and words as if they are the last things you will do on Earth. That's when you start feeling that your insecurities actually do affect you and you start getting scared they will come out and hurt them. That's when you have to exercise the amazing concept taught in school of "perspective". When you have to respond to someone elses' need. When you see someone so much more fragile and naive than you, and is up to your maturity to lead their way, to fulfill their emotional needs, to answer their questions and listen to their stories, to hug them, kiss them, to make sure they eat or that when they are sleeping they don't freeze. That's when you realize how imperfect you are... how selfish you can get, and how important is your role. No matter for how long you have them, no matter if they are asking for your help or not, no matter if they are looking at you or not. You have a responsibility to be better, stronger, to act with integrity, to make wise decisions, and decide everyday not to be selfish. To be able to stop and think before you act, and to measure your actual true intentions behind whatever you do.
8. Relationships are hard, but they are the most beautiful thing we have on this Earth. I know that we can't measure all relationships with the same scale. We need to understand that there is more than what the eyes can see..that we can paint a picture of what something should look like, but we can't expect our reality to be the same. We can work towards it, we can have a common goal, we can die trying to reach it, but we can't be ashamed of what we created if our hearts and minds where in tune with each other in the process of making it happen. We can't decide which reality other people should try to get. We can't look at someone elses' painting and criticize it or tear it down just because we didn't like the colors that they decided to use, or the brushes they chose to do it. We can worry about our own painting. We can wake up everyday and choose to make it better, to add glitter, to change colors, to use a thin brush for the details and a thick one to finish faster. The only one who has the divine right to tell you how to paint it is the Creator, who is artist number one and only, but even He takes the back sit and waits for you to come and ask for his advice and intervention.
9. Apologizing doesn't kill. Yes, this is a hard one. For some people is something they learned a long time ago, for me, is something i am still trying to learn. I know it to be true indeed, but i forget to use it most of the time. Usually because it comes with the bad feeling of humility (some people call it inferiority) and with the high risk of rejection (specially when is a big one), so most people try to avoid it as much as they can... but reality is, that the more you avoid it, the bigger it gets, and the bigger it gets the faster it will kill you. oh, wait.. Didn't i just say that it doesn't kill? i meant your Ego. The faster it will kill your Ego.. but then again, isn't your ego more dangerous anyway? Is hard to admit it. But it's true. Apologizing opens doors to so many things we want and need... Th biggest one in my opinion? The one that most of the time is ignored and devalued as something old fashioned, but we so desperately want and need: Intimacy.
10. Being sensitive is a good thing. Being able to experience life at it's fullest. Laughing, crying, laughing again... yes, sometimes to little stupid things, and other times to really big things. Feeling is what drives us to anything we do. The feeling of success, closeness, love, companionship... we get motivated by good feelings to keep on living, and by bad feelings to avoid or reject. Feeling is a part of life. Expressing our feelings is what connects us to each other. Without them we wouldn't be able to create. Don't be afraid to feel. Don't be ashamed to feel. Is who you are, and is how you where created to be. So stand up and praise! Cry if you have to! Laugh with others! Hug them if necessary! Create beautiful things! Love everyone! Dance without caring who is watching! Fly closer to Heaven in everything you do! Ask questions and connect to others with the answers! Whatever you do, don't ever forget to feel...don't ever forget live and share The Love!
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Rojo Rouge
Me canse. Me canse de mirar hacia adentro y no encontrar respuestas.
Me canse de llorar por dentro y por fuera sin tener una razón concreta.
Esta situación se acaba hoy.
Hoy me mire al espejo y me pinte los labios rojos...
Hoy tenía ganas de verme con vida.
Mi vida se muere poco a poco con la inactividad y es tiempo de parar.
Parar de no hacer nada como una mujer vencida, cansada...
Este estado no es el cual me caracteriza y no refleja mi esencia.
Es tiempo de despertar y avanzar.
Un mundo de posibilidades me espera.
Hoy me puse pinta-labios rojo (rouge para los más refinados), me mire al espejo y me cante una canción.
(Parece que esto de mirar Glee está transformando mi vida en una comedia musical)
Rojo de pasión por la vida, por la gente, por el amor.
Hoy el café volvió a tener el sabor que me gusta, ya no es amargo y necesario para vivir, sino que retomo su manera particular de ser una experiencia que saboreo...
Hoy es un día de cambio.
Dios me lo mostro, y me inyecto con motivación para avanzar.
Hoy escribo en mi blog porque tengo algo que contar.
Hoy elijo a Dios.
Hoy elijo el amor.
Hoy el elijo la vida.
Hoy te elijo a vos.
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Brindis
Seguir siguiendo al corazón
y coquetear con la intuición
seguir creciendo y esquivando las rutinas
seguir soñando en un rincón
seguir creyendo que hay un Dios
que me endereza de un tirón la puntería
Siempre me voy detrás de lo que siento
cada tanto muero
y aquí estoy tantos desiertos que crucé
tantos atajos esquivé
tantas batallas que pintaron mis heridas
tantos incendios provoqué
tantos fracasos me probé
que no me explico como canto todavía
y es que siempre voy detrás de lo que siento
cada tanto muero
y aquí estoy
por esos días por venir
por este brindis para mi
por regalarle a la intuición el alma mía
porque los días se nos van
quiero cantar hasta el final
por otra noche como esta doy mi vida
tantos festejos resigné t
antos amigos extrañé
tantos domingos muy lejos de mi familia
tantas almohadas conocí
tantas canciones me aprendí q
ue los recuerdos me parecen de otras vidas
siempre me voy detrás de lo que siento
cada tanto muero
y aquí estoy
tantas palizas esquivé
tantas traiciones me compré
tantos enojos me hicieron mostrar los dientes
con mil abrazos me cuidé
con mil amores me curé
juntando heridas sigo creyendo en la gente
siempre voy detrás de lo que siento
cada tanto muero
pero hoy no
por esos días por venir
por este brindis para mí
por regalarle a la intuición el alma mía
porque los días se nos van
quiero cantar hasta el final
por otra noche como esta doy mi vida
y en esas noches de luna
donde los recuerdos son puñal
me abrazo a mi guitarra
y canto fuerte mis plegarias
y algo pasa,
pero ya nada me hace llorar
yo me abrazo a mi guitarra
y canto fuerte mis plegarias
y algo pasa, pero ya nada me va a cambiar.
seguir creciendo y esquivando las rutinas
seguir soñando en un rincón
seguir creyendo que hay un Dios
que me endereza de un tirón la puntería
Siempre me voy detrás de lo que siento
cada tanto muero
y aquí estoy tantos desiertos que crucé
tantos atajos esquivé
tantas batallas que pintaron mis heridas
tantos incendios provoqué
tantos fracasos me probé
que no me explico como canto todavía
y es que siempre voy detrás de lo que siento
cada tanto muero
y aquí estoy
por esos días por venir
por este brindis para mi
por regalarle a la intuición el alma mía
porque los días se nos van
quiero cantar hasta el final
por otra noche como esta doy mi vida
tantos festejos resigné t
antos amigos extrañé
tantos domingos muy lejos de mi familia
tantas almohadas conocí
tantas canciones me aprendí q
ue los recuerdos me parecen de otras vidas
siempre me voy detrás de lo que siento
cada tanto muero
y aquí estoy
tantas palizas esquivé
tantas traiciones me compré
tantos enojos me hicieron mostrar los dientes
con mil abrazos me cuidé
con mil amores me curé
juntando heridas sigo creyendo en la gente
siempre voy detrás de lo que siento
cada tanto muero
pero hoy no
por esos días por venir
por este brindis para mí
por regalarle a la intuición el alma mía
porque los días se nos van
quiero cantar hasta el final
por otra noche como esta doy mi vida
y en esas noches de luna
donde los recuerdos son puñal
me abrazo a mi guitarra
y canto fuerte mis plegarias
y algo pasa,
pero ya nada me hace llorar
yo me abrazo a mi guitarra
y canto fuerte mis plegarias
y algo pasa, pero ya nada me va a cambiar.
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
And I Let You Go.
y todo lo dicho, dicho esta. cuesta.
duele.
words finally left after realized how uncomfortable they've grown
solo queda respirar...
esperar....
esperar que se escriba la poesia
que vuelvan las sonrisas.
que el alma resucite
que se curen las heridas
"I love you know I love you so;
when you love someone
well you've got to let them know"
She said: "Nothing's changed
I love you the same,
but when you love someone
sometimes you gotta let them go"
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