Wednesday, January 7, 2015

What are you building your home with?


The Floating Axe Head

6 Now the sons of the prophets said to Elisha, “Look, the place where we are living with you is too small for us. Let us go to the Jordan and take from there one beam per man, and let us make for ourselves a place to live there.”
And Elisha said, “Go.”
Then one of them said, “Please come with your servants.”
And he said, “I will come.” So he went with them.
And they came to the Jordan and cut down trees. But as one was cutting down a tree, the axe head fell into the water. He cried, “Ah, master! It was borrowed.”
Then the man of God said, “Where did it fall?” When he showed him the place, he cut off a stick, and threw it in there, and he made the iron float.

2 Kings 6:1-6Modern English Version (MEV)


I came across this Bible story today. 
I always wondered why God decided to help this men find the axe head that fell into the river. When i was younger i would simplify the explanation by believing that God understood that it was and accident and since the axe head was borrowed it would be nice to make the little miracle so no one would suffer the mistake of a clumsy guy... 
....but that conclusion always left me unsatisfied because it would mean that God wouldn't help you if it was your own axe because if you are careless and don't take care of your own things you need the consequences of your actions to catch up to you in order to learn the lesson. 
That just doesn't make sense. 
But God never writes anything in the Bible just because...
I paused to think about this for a couple of minutes. 
--The answer is right in front of my nose and all this time i couldn't see it... Maybe is due to the fact that at this point in my life i finally have my own home. Is very exciting when you get your own place... You start dreaming on all of the things you wish to do with it, and how you want it to look to represent your true essence.--
I can relate to this story. They were trying to build themselves a bigger home.
They needed the axe to build their home. 
--What am i trying to build my own home with?--
I sat down in silence and thought about this for a moment. 
--When i got married i was so sure how i was going to build my home: with lots of LOVE above all, PATIENCE and UNDERSTANDING.-- 
It's so easy to forget this three things when you are caught up in the moment... when things don't go the way you want them to, when your feelings are hurt, when you feel as if life is unfair and you don't deserve whats happening to you. 
No matter how much you try, you can never go back to the "happy place" when you are thinking on everything that bothers you. You can't go back to that peace that you had in your wedding day when everything was beautiful and perfect. 
Then you realize that your Axe is borrowed. 
Everything i know to be true to help me build a home, is borrowed. I cannot generate it by myself, nor can my husband do it for me. I simply have to ask for it back. 
That's why God decided to make the axe head float on the water. He knows they needed it to build their home, and he provided.
God is always willing to give it back to you. 
You lost your patience? your love? your understanding? Your peace of mind?
If you ask, God is willing to give it to you again. 
God is love, patience and understanding, and He is willing to give himself to us every second, every minute, every day. 
God will make your axe head float every time it falls on the water. 


Thursday, December 18, 2014

*sigh*

Nada como sentirte a la vuelta de la esquina de mi almohada.
El poder estirar mis dedos congelados y tocar tus piernas ásperas de macho alfa.
Cada segundo que respiras profundo recordándome que elegiste dormir conmigo todas tus noches.
Recordándome que mi casa esta acá, entre tus brazos y sobre tu pecho buscando el ritmo de tu corazón que se va enlenteciendo mientras te hundís en sueño profundo.






Friday, August 22, 2014

esa tumba no es mía.

me sorprende algo que realmente no me sorprende.
me entristece pero me asegura lo que ya sabía que era asegurado.
no me afecta ni altera la existencia mas que mirar atrás y sonreír por lo abandonado.
nos hace reír y al mismo tiempo pegar una patada sobre el piso, o un puño en la mesa,
como tanto puede cambiar y uno no ser cambiado.
el nudo del estomago por recordar algo que ya había olvidado.
la sonrisa sarcástica de sacar la ficha, y entender algo que sería mejor ni analizarlo.
el pésame, la ironía, lo agridulce que parece amargo.
la capacidad de reinventarse y quedar siempre del mismo lado.
la inhabilidad de abrir los ojos a las obvias mentiras que todos compran con el sueño idealizado.
tristeza cierta, inseguridad palpitante, miedo ajeno.
siempre la misma historia,
 redundan las palabras
sobran, se repiten.
y el ciclo no para.





"Gracias a la vida que me ha dado tanto"