10 Things I Know To Be True #26

10 things i know to be true:

1. I cannot do it all. I can't go through life expecting to be perfect or do everything right for everyone. What i can do is love. i can love as hard as i can and open my heart as much as it can possibly be open... i can hope and trust not to get hurt by the people I'm trying to reach, but i will never close my hands to what i can give and receive.

2. I can accept. I can accept people and their stories. I can understand that no one is exempt from hurting or laughter. I can realize that we all have our things we can't control and that sometimes...maybe sometimes we really wish we could. Those things that hurt, not only us, but mostly all. In those moments we really hate them and sometimes we hate ourselves even more. Not being able to go back in time to fix them, not being able to heal the wounded, or to just simply justify them at all...

3. I can grow. I can choose to learn from my experiences. I can choose to learn from yours. I can choose to be a catalyst of change to others. I can choose to just let it go. I can try to be a better person, each day, every day... but i can also learn that change hurts. Sometimes growing means different, and no one ever likes different... not at all. Change is scary, life is even more... but without changing, there isn't growing, and without growing, is it even life at all?

4. I can fly. Flying is a form of freedom, at least that's what i believe... but see, we keep on tying ourselves down to the Earth, as if we could get anything good from it. Sometimes we tie ourselves to money, our job, other's expectations, our past, our insecurities. We should always remember we can fly... the closer we try to be connected to Heaven the better we will feel, the more possibilities we will see, the more flexibility to making choices we will have, and the more peace we will feel when we make the choices that we had.

5. I am not who i think i am. I am not who others see i am. I am not who i write i am. I could never know who i truly am. I can tell you who i think i am, but it'll be only my judgment of who i want to be and how close i am to being that person. I can ask people who they think i am; but that will only give me a reflection of what they are tinted with the reality of what they see in me, and it will be based on the conclusions they get out of the reality we shared together,  just a mere collection of experiences viewed through the lenses of their feelings and ideas while we where sharing them. So i can't trust what they say i am, and i can't trust what i see in me. So i am only left with no choice but to believe.... believe that there is a Creator that decided to create me one day. Who has the answers of who i am, how i am, and why i do the things that i do. That's why my life is an endless pursue of that Creator, trying to imitate Him, and to create things just like He does. That's why i write, sing, talk, listen, draw, paint, dance, feel...that's why i live.

6. I have to express myself. Expressing is connecting. Connecting is the purpose of my existence. I can't be quiet and not share the things i find to be true, and i can't expect everyone to agree or even understand why they are true to me now. They might change tomorrow, that's why I'm choosing to share them today. They might be the opposite of someone elses' truth, but that doesn't mean I'm right or wrong, it just means i am. I feel, i live, i learn. I discover new things every day, and i need to take a pause in silence to be able to absorb the essence of what i experience. My journey may be very different from everyone elses', but it is the most important indeed....at least to me... please don't think that i don't appreciate yours too. In the moment that you share your discoveries we connect, and for that moment i become you and you become me, and we both walk away being different people than before.

7. The more i watch children the more i see my own imperfections and flaws. They say you need to have children to understand who you are. I say, i don't need to have them myself, but just with having them around me i get a pretty good idea of what these people meant. I am flawed, i am selfish, and sometimes it comes in small packages of things that don't even matter... just like when you pick up a sugar package for your coffee and realize you actually picked up the sweetener that in the long run will give you cancer. That's why is so hard to even realize that i am all of those things. But when you have kids, that's when you realize them. That's when you start measuring your reactions and words as if they are the last things you will do on Earth. That's when you start feeling that your insecurities actually do affect you and you start getting scared they will come out and hurt them.  That's when you have to exercise the amazing concept taught in school of "perspective". When you have to respond to someone elses' need. When you see someone so much more fragile and naive than you, and is up to your maturity to lead their way, to fulfill their emotional needs, to answer their questions and listen to their stories, to hug them, kiss them, to make sure they eat or that when they are sleeping they don't freeze. That's when you realize how imperfect you are... how selfish you can get, and how important is your role. No matter for how long you have them, no matter if they are asking for your help or not, no matter if they are looking at you or not. You have a responsibility to be better, stronger, to act with integrity, to make wise decisions, and decide everyday not to be selfish. To be able to stop and think before you act, and to measure your actual true intentions behind whatever you do.

8. Relationships are hard, but they are the most beautiful thing we have on this Earth. I know that we can't measure all relationships with the same scale. We need to understand that there is more than what the eyes can see..that we can paint a picture of what something should look like, but we can't expect our reality to be the same. We can work towards it, we can have a common goal, we can die trying to reach it, but we can't be ashamed of what we created if our hearts and minds where in tune with each other in the process of making it happen. We can't decide which reality other people should try to get. We can't look at someone elses' painting and criticize it or tear it down just because we didn't like the colors that they decided to use, or the brushes they chose to do it. We can worry about our own painting. We can wake up everyday and choose to make it better, to add glitter, to change colors, to use a thin brush for the details and a thick one to finish faster. The only one who has the divine right to tell you how to paint it is the Creator, who is artist number one and only, but even He takes the back sit and waits for you to come and ask for his advice and intervention.

9. Apologizing doesn't kill. Yes, this is a hard one. For some people is something they learned a long time ago, for me, is something i am still trying to learn. I know it to be true indeed, but i forget to use it most of the time. Usually because it comes with the bad feeling of humility (some people call it inferiority) and with the high risk of rejection (specially when is a big one), so most people try to avoid it as much as they can... but reality is, that the more you avoid it, the bigger it gets, and the bigger it gets the faster it will kill you. oh, wait.. Didn't i just say that it doesn't kill? i meant your Ego. The faster it will kill your Ego.. but then again, isn't your ego more dangerous anyway? Is hard to admit it. But it's true. Apologizing opens doors to so many things we want and need... Th biggest one in my opinion? The one that most of the time is ignored and devalued as something old fashioned, but we so desperately want and need: Intimacy.

10. Being sensitive is a good thing. Being able to experience life at it's fullest. Laughing, crying, laughing again... yes, sometimes to little stupid things, and other times to really big things. Feeling is what drives us to anything we do. The feeling of success, closeness, love, companionship... we get motivated by good feelings to keep on living, and by bad feelings to avoid or reject. Feeling is a part of life. Expressing our feelings is what connects us to each other. Without them we wouldn't be able to create. Don't be afraid to feel. Don't be ashamed to feel. Is who you are, and is how you where created to be. So stand up and praise! Cry if you have to! Laugh with others! Hug them if necessary! Create beautiful things! Love everyone! Dance without caring who is watching! Fly closer to Heaven in everything you do! Ask questions and connect to others with the answers! Whatever you do, don't ever forget to feel...don't ever forget live and share The Love!